


Static and a Doorknob

by acanoftrash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Bunker, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Impala, Light Angst, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Misunderstandings, dean thinks cas is banging sam, if the writers misuse the miscommunication trope then i'll misuse it more for the power of good, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 15:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15294021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acanoftrash/pseuds/acanoftrash
Summary: The Winchester brothers don't talk to each other about their nightmares. Sam and Cas talk about them, though, which ends up with Dean thinking the two are banging.Or: Sam gets some angst! Dean gets some angst! Cas gets some angst! EVERYONE GETS SOME ANGST!





	Static and a Doorknob

**Author's Note:**

> side note- jack is not in this fic and i cry. i know i'm the author but i still cry.

Neither Sam nor Dean talk about their nightmares. Sam has them nearly every night, and they grip their claws into his brain and leave him shaking until he’s had his coffee.

He’s not sure how often Dean has nightmares. Sam only hears the occasional shouts at night. The yells tear him from his sleep, and Sam’s usually thankful for it, but he never goes to his brother’s room to wake him up. Dean would never admit that he was having a nightmare, and from the times that Sam  _ has _ woken him up, he knows that Dean will just bitch at him. So he lets it be. Sam doesn’t talk to Dean about any nightmares and Dean doesn’t talk to Sam about them either.

Cas, on the other hand, is more than willing to psychoanalyze Sam. Sam figures that Cas never quite understood Dean’s “talking about your emotions makes you weak” complex, instilled in him by John. To Sam, it’s a good thing- Cas knows stuff from the beginning of time, and quite a lot of it actually  _ does _ help with the nightmares. Even just talking them over in the mornings makes the intensity lessen.

Cas always shuts up when Dean comes in, though. Sam isn’t sure why. He knows that his brother and the sort-of angel need to get their heads out of their asses, but Cas isn’t  _ that _ versed in social cues.

…

Castiel can sense the distress of both Winchesters with what little grace he has left. From what Castiel can tell, Sam’s anguish is practically as bad as Dean’s tonight. It’s as bad as the nightmares Castiel sensed before he and Sam started their little “therapy sessions.”

Castiel closes the lore book he was reading and guzzles down the last of the coffee pot. He walks to Sam’s room, and on the walk, he passes Dean’s door. He pauses.

Sam had told him to  _ never _ discuss nightmares with Dean, and Castiel doesn’t want to lose Dean’s friendship. Just thinking about it makes the strange feeling at Castiel’s core twist and warp. He knows what it is, but he’s never going to state it again- the fiasco with Ramiel and the barn proved that.

Castiel keeps walking, Sam’s shouts getting louder as he goes. He lets himself into the younger Winchester’s room.

Sam is twisting himself up in the sheets, muttering and occasionally yelling incoherent phrases. Castiel puts two fingers on Sam’s head.

Sam quiets immediately, but as soon as Castiel removes his fingers he starts to whimper again. Castiel sighs. He figured this would happen. He doesn’t have enough grace to simply banish the nightmares, even just for the night, so he has to send a constant flow of grace through Sam’s mind to keep the nightmares gone. It doesn’t tire him too much, but he’s going to have to stay in Sam’s room for hours with his hand on Sam’s head.

Castiel settles himself in, pulling the chair from the other side of the room up to the bed. He places two fingers on Sam’s head once more.

He’s getting rather tired, despite the coffee running through his system.  _ I’m still an angel. Angels can’t sleep. I might as well close my eyes _ , Castiel reasons.  _ I’ve drunk two pots of coffee… _

…

Sam wakes up to two fingers tangled in his hair.  _ What the hell? _ He opens his eyes and turns over, wincing as his hair gets even more twisted up.

Cas is sitting in a chair next to his bed,  _ sleeping _ .

“Cas? You  _ sleep _ now?”

Cas jerks awake, pulling his hand back. “Oh. Sam.” Cas scratches the back of his neck. “I haven’t slept in a while, don’t worry.”

Sam furrows his brow. He knew Cas was low on grace, but not  _ that _ low. “I’m not worried, dude. Just not used to it. Why’re you in here?”

“You were having a bad nightmare. I figured that I should help.”

Sam thinks back, and he can only remember a hazy vision of Lucifer’s true face. “Thanks, man.”

“It was no trouble,” Cas says. He stands up and walks out of Sam’s room.

_ Weird, _ Sam thinks.

…

Dean wakes up actually refreshed for once. His dreams weren’t too shitty last night, and for that he’s grateful. He walks towards the kitchen, thinking of nothing but sizzling bacon, when he bumps into Cas.

Who has just walked out of Sam’s room.

“Cas?” Dean asks.  _ That voice crack was barely noticeable. Cas didn’t hear it. _

“Good morning, Dean.” Cas continues walking towards the kitchen, like him  _ exiting Sam’s room with his clothes fucked to hell _ isn’t a big deal. Dean hurries to catch up with him, feeling like he’s about to puke. Sizzling bacon begone.

“Why were you in Sam’s room?” Dean feels like a clingy girlfriend, except for the fact that  _ he’s not fucking dating Cas _ .

Cas suddenly looks flustered. “I was… helping him with his nightmares.”

Oh.  _ Oh _ . A tide of emotions washes over Dean, leaving him floundering helplessly against it. He chooses the outlet he knows best- anger. “And how long has this been going on?”

Cas looks even guiltier. “A few months.”

“And you couldn’t be bothered to  _ tell me? _ Either of you?”

“Sam said-”

“Fucking Christ.” Dean grabs his keys from the table. “I’m going out.” Fuck the fact that all he’s wearing is sweatpants and a robe.

“Dean, I’m sorry for-”

“Don’t fucking  _ apologize _ .”  _ I should’ve known. I’ve just been misreading the signals. He was probably telling Sam that he loved him in the barn _ . His stomach lurches at the thought of Cas dying.  _ Cas is too good for me. _ “Just fucking-” Dean storms away, leaving Cas in the kitchen.

…

Castiel is still staring after Dean, wondering how he managed to destroy their friendship so quickly, when Sam lumbers in. “What the hell was  _ that _ ?” he asks.

A fresh serving of guilt overwhelms Castiel. “He asked why I was coming out of your room, and I told him about banishing your nightmares.”

“What  _ exactly _ did you say after he asked you about it?” Sam asks.

“I said, ‘I was helping him with his nightmares.’”

“Fuck. He probably assumed that we were sleeping together,” Sam says, looking horrified.

Castiel’s guilt and hurt is immediately replaced with disgust. “That’s… no offense, Sam, but that is-”

“Gross. I know. But Dean has a massive inferiority complex-”  _ I know that, _ Castiel thinks.  _ He shouldn’t. He’s the Righteous Man. He’s the pinnacle of humanity. _ “So I guess he felt hurt that you seemingly picked me over him.”

“Why would he be hurt?”

Sam gives Castiel a stellar “bitchface.” “He likes you.”

“What-  _ oh _ .” Castiel’s eyes widen. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve lived with the guy for thirty-five years, Cas. I’m sure. So you should find him and explain to him what happened, or he’s gonna spend all day sulking.”

…

Dean is a grown man. He is in no way  _ sulking _ about his brother and his best friend hooking up.  _ They deserve to be happy together, _ a voice in Dean’s head says.  _ Cas deserves better than me. Sam deserves Cas. You don’t. _

The feeling in his gut doesn’t seem to care about his arguments.

He rests his head on Baby’s steering wheel and tries to shut out his thoughts.

A moment later, someone is opening Baby’s passenger door. Dean fumbles blindly for his gun before realizing it’s Cas. “Oh. Hey, Cas.” Dean plasters a smile on his face.

“Are you in pain?” Cas asks, tilting his head as he slides into the car. He never breaks the stare.

Dean wants to say yes.  _ Shut the fuck up. You’re not some edgy emo teen. _ “Me? I’m perfectly fine. Just dandy. I bet you and Sam are doing fine, right?” Dean asks, because he hates himself and wants to suffer through a moving monologue about Sam, delivered in Cas’s gravelly voice that makes Dean want to mount the man.

“Sam and I aren’t  _ together _ , Dean,” Cas says.

Hold up. “What? But-”

“I really  _ was _ helping him with his nightmares. He had a particularly bad one last night, and I had to stay in his room to keep it away.”

“Oh.” Dean scratches the back of his head. “Well, thanks for giving me the backstory on  _ that _ one.”

Cas huffs. “Your inability to think beyond sexual innuendo isn’t my fault.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but at the moment, I was thinking, ‘well, shit, the guy I’ve got feelings for just came out of my brother’s room with his clothes fucked up and when he saw me he looked guilty as fuck.’ So I’m sorry if I’m not exactly  _ thinking straight. _ ”

The first thing Dean thinks is that he’s never been so happy to have one of these petty squabbles with Cas. The second thing he thinks is  _ oh shit, what the fuck did I just say? _

A slow smile spreads across Cas’s face. “You…”

_ There’s no escape now. _ “I… you know, okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you, it just-” Dean is cut off by Cas’s lips gently pressing against his.

Cas pulls back, wearing his rare, gummy smile. “You’re in love with me.”

Dean feels like he’s on fire- whether from embarrassment or excitement, he can’t tell.  _ Probably both _ . “Yeah, okay.”

Cas grins even wider. “I’m… in love with you too, Dean.”

Despite the fact that Cas just kissed him, the words hit Dean hard. His first instinct is to deny it, to push away the fact that he’s corrupted an angel of the Lord. But when Cas asks, “Can I… kiss you again?” and Dean nods, dumbfounded, and Cas follows through, Dean starts to think that he might possibly be worthy of Cas.

…

Cas can’t believe his luck. He and Dean walk back into the bunker hand in hand. Sam does nothing but shoot them a knowing look, and they start breakfast.

The day goes by quickly- too quickly, almost. And when Dean goes to bed, Cas is expecting to stay in the library like he usually does.

Dean’s halfway out of the “Dean Cave” when he turns around and looks at Cas. Cas has never seen him look this vulnerable before. “Come with me?” he asks.

Cas readily agrees. He hasn’t had his coffee yet, but he’s sure he’ll be fine. After all, he still has  _ some _ grace. Sleeping once doesn’t invalidate that. In fact, he’ll probably be completely awake tonight.

Still, he decides to leave once Dean’s asleep.

“What do you want me to do?” Cas asks. “Do you want to… copulate?”

Dean winces. “No! God. Well. I do want to do that- but- you know,”

“Just not tonight,” Cas guesses.

Dean relaxes. “Just not tonight. Maybe just- could you, you know, do the spooning thing?”

Dean is blushing. It’s a very fetching shade on him. “Of course,” Cas tells him.

“Okay. Uh, thanks, buddy.”

It’s Cas’s turn to wince. “Dean, if we’re going to do this…”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t call me  _ buddy _ .”

Dean blushes a darker shade of red. “Yeah. Sure, man.” Dean pulls off the flannel he was wearing, revealing the T-shirt below, and then he pulls  _ that _ off too.

Cas can’t help but gape. He knows Dean’s body inside and out, but it’s still a breathtaking sight. His defined arms and pectorals lead the way to the softness of his stomach, which has hairs scattered in a line leading into his pants. A smattering of freckles decorate his shoulders and neck.  _ He’s the Righteous Man, _ Cas can’t help but think.

Dean shifts a little. “Why’re you staring?”

Cas feels like he’s been proverbially caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “You’re- you’re  _ amazing _ , Dean.”

_ Even his shoulders get pink, _ Cas notes.  _ Interesting _ . “‘M not that great, Cas.”

Cas leans into Dean’s space and kisses him again. “You are.” Because Dean  _ needs _ to know.  _ How does he walk around every day hating himself? He’s a work of art, _ Cas thinks as he pulls back.

“Thanks,” Dean says, dropping his pants. Cas looks down at the rest of Dean- his hipbones, his powerful bowed legs, not to mention his ass… “Like what you see?” Dean smirks.

“Very much so.”

Dean’s smirk curves into a smile. “Are you just gonna stay dressed?”

Cas shifts, feeling a little awkward. “I don’t sleep…”  _ Most of the time. _

“Well, you’re probably gonna be uncomfortable lying down in that getup.”

Cas shucks the trenchcoat, his pants, his shoes, and his shirts, throwing them onto the same chair Dean’s clothes are on and leaving him clad in boxers alone. This time it’s Dean’s turn to stare. Cas arches an eyebrow at him. “Hypocritical much?”

Dean licks his lips, and Cas can feel his dick twitch. “I never denied anything.” Dean bounces onto the mattress with a smirk and pats it. Cas sits next to him. It’s a little small for two grown men, but it’ll do. Dean’s grin falters. “Are you gonna… y’know, stay?”

Cas can’t lie to Dean’s face. Well, he  _ can _ , but he’d prefer not to do so. “Of course.”

Dean’s smile is radiant as he lies down in the bed. Cas follows suit, settling himself so that he’s facing Dean. Dean switches off the light. Cas instinctively places his hand on Dean’s shoulder, and he realizes what he’s done when his grace tingles. “Well,  _ that _ ’s new,” Dean says. “When did we become static and a doorknob?”

“Perhaps it requires skin-to-skin contact.”

Cas can still see Dean’s grin in the dark. “Goodnight, Cas,” Dean says.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Cas says with a smile.

Dean falls asleep quickly, and for the first time in weeks, Cas doesn’t sense nightmares from him. Sam is sleeping soundly as well, and Cas finds himself getting increasingly tired.  _ I’m an  _ angel _. I don’t need to sleep. I shouldn’t be… _

…

When Dean wakes up, he’s confronted with a strange sight- Cas,  _ sleeping _ . “Since when do you sleep?” he mutters.  _ Weird as hell. Is he okay? _

Cas jerks awake. “I’m not asleep,” he mumbles, still half in dreamland.

“Sure, Cas.”

Dean’s not prepared for the desperate look that overtakes Cas’s face as he slowly regains consciousness. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“The hell? What for?”

Cas sounds genuinely angry when he says, “For having to  _ sleep _ ! I’m not supposed to need sleep. I should be using this time to-”

Dean can feel the tendrils of rage start to seep in. Not at Cas, but at Cas’s siblings, for making Cas think he has to be useful all the damned time. “Cas, you’re allowed to  _ sleep _ . I don’t give a shit how  _ useful _ you are. I- well, you know. I wouldn’t trade you for the  _ world _ . You’re allowed to fucking  _ sleep _ .”

For the first time in a long time, Cas looks and sounds  _ small _ . And it’s not something Dean likes. “Dean, I need a  _ purpose _ .”

And it hurts Dean a little to hear Cas say that. “You  _ have _ a purpose, Cas. Your purpose is to  _ be Cas _ .” A small smile breaks over Cas’s face, like he’s managing to believe that a little. “We love you.  _ I _ love you.” Dean finally feels that weight lift off his chest, the weight he’s been carrying since the crypt. He’s said it. It’s out there. And Cas isn’t setting him on fire. Cas actually looks like he’s  _ happy _ to hear that.

“I suppose I’ll just have to work on believing that,” Cas says.

“I believe in you.” Dean can finally stare back when he finds Cas’s blue eyes on him, and it’s liberating. He can finally touch Cas without fear that Cas’ll find out about Dean’s feelings. And he can finally kiss Cas, so he does.

**Author's Note:**

> well! i wrote this all in the middle of the night so please forgive my errors. hope you liked it! my tumblr is thefullbullpenbitch and i yell about stuff on there.


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